husband wants to spend every weekend with his family

husband wants to spend every weekend with his family

GatorGirl Remember there's a reason you want to spend Christmas together. June 18, 2014, 10:26 am. Its like of course your boyfriend told you he wasnt cheating on you he wanted to continue to bang you and get all the other benefits of the relationship. June 18, 2014, 9:59 am, Haha, I think this is quite extreme. But yeah, having a partner whos very close to their family is not for everyone. Those conversations should have happened before. It sounds like you and your bf just have different thoughts about how often to see family, and you need to talk it out and come to a compromise. All Im saying is, neither ways are wrong. Unless, of course, there are some urgent circumstances. Like I said before, I get along great with them and dont mind visiting them, but I also need privacy and a chance for my boyfriend and me to have a separate life from them. Im curious to know where the boyfriend lived before he moved in with the LW. This boyfriend seems like one of those people whose default is go home. I bet when he lived at home he barely left the house. ReginaRey That in itself is not dysfunctional, but putting a guilt trip on somebody because they would rather do something else is. . January 20, 2012, 11:08 am. January 20, 2012, 10:51 am, lets_be_honest lets_be_honest Maybe if you stop going every single time hell decide to stay home with you every now and then. It means they have compatibility issues they need to figure out or they need to break up. June 18, 2014, 10:47 am. So, instead of an adult whos ready to take on the world the result is someone with severely low self esteem that does Not seem to be able to take responsibility or make many if any decisions on their own. Husband says we will spend Christmasses together when we have our own family. Relationship time without your family is really important to me and I hope we can work in implementing a date day/night where it is just us.; your other option if he still doesnt agree to this or guilts you, is ending the relationship, because this is not going to change. However, we spend 80% of the time hes home at the parents house. But if throughout dating you looked for all those little signs and clues that led you to believe that you are on the same page, I do not see the need for an official information session, or why it is wrong to assume that things will just continue as they are. *If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, send me your letters at wendy@dearwendy.com and be sure to follow me on Twitter. Its hard not knowing when a passing will Your problem is thinking you can change him. January 20, 2012, 2:50 pm. Red_Lady . Im in the same boat. June 18, 2014, 11:40 am. June 18, 2014, 10:18 am. But I really dont think they were spending time in the city together before they moved in, I think she was spending time in the city while he was doing other things. I think of it as the I got you phenomenon. Make plans for activities. You say you cant get your boyfriend to understand that you dont want to spend every weekend with his parents. And for the love of god, dont enforce some kind of we spend every weekend together no matter what, because its not compromising on your part and plus when you live together that sh*t gets old QUICK. You dont want to talk about important issues with a SO so that you can pretend moving in together is a great idea because you dont know any better because you have SPECIFICALLY chosen not to know about better? My boyfriend goes to his mom and dads every weekend doesnt think me or my children with him he used to text me all the time and call me he doesnt do that anymore weve been together 3 years and there any place he ever takes me is to the grocery store and back home and he doesnt even hardly touch or kiss or anything anymore I tell him I love him all the time hell tell me back but I feel that he just tells me because he doesnt want it to hurt me. bittergaymark However, I think the Bklyn Grl But sitting down, and discussing everything as if its just business doesnt sound very appealing to me. But it seems like they want to take things slowly. BGM never agrees with the woman. muchachaenlaventana Lets find out why he behaves like that and offer tips on what you should do. March 11, 2017, 11:48 am. A lot of Saturdays, we saw the other set. According to relationship expert and dating coach James Preece, Neglecting your family and friends I 100% agree with Wendy that you should bring this up in a this is what I want/need way and not in a youre weird and you need to grow up way. GatorGirl You guys share a toilet, you can afford some alone time one weekend a month. Sorry, but its not men its your man and OPs man. FireStar I live a minute from my mom and 3 from his. Okay okay. Your husband does not know what to do with himself on weekends. If he did this every single night, though, I would not be so supportive, to say the least. June 18, 2014, 10:54 am. January 20, 2012, 8:02 am. Your boyfriend is spending every weekend at his parents house because you are enabling that to happen. Find a free movie or concert in the park, those seem to be like everywhere. You want to avoid jumping to conclusions and coming off as the bad guy. But it sounds like they like things just the way they are. I would blow my brains out if I were with someone who needed to do something every single weekend all weekend long, even if it were just go to a friend or family members house. A lot of family time. Maybe Im the weird one who, even if I leave work early, never seems to get home until wayyyy late. If the LW has just been going every weekend without their being discussion, then that has to stop now. When you talk to your boyfriend about your concerns be careful that it is not perceived as an ultimatum, just that you would like to discuss other options of things to do on the weekend. January 20, 2012, 11:10 am. Thats on you. Are you and your husband having any problems in your marriage? And it really annoys you when they play the victim role, and on the phone, they are sad when you tell them that you wont visit them this weekend. . January 20, 2012, 9:10 am. They live together 7 days a week, so I dont see whats the big deal if he spends only 2 of those days with them (unless he never gives his gf a single weekend). I think the commenters who speak of the bf feeling settled and not having to date any more are correct. I completely agree with Angelique in that this family dynamic is dysfunctional. Is it a deal breaker? Everyone knows how to throw a frisbee, right? Like the people who say they wouldnt want to know a significant other was cheating on them. That was seven years ago. allathian But she doesnt seem to mind it. I would plan some things. Sorry if someone else mentioned this and I didnt see, but it seems as though the boyfriend moved straight from his parents house to with her, right? When they were planning on adopting, I told her that if this is an issue to where she is left with baby a huge amount of time and resents him for it, its not going to be pretty. NOt exactly like you put it, but yes I believe there are certain things (finances mostly) that def have to be discussed prior to moving in with your SO. Hed schedule one weekend a year when his best friends came to his town to party. Either way, needs to be talked about, but not insurmountable. And he was a bore. I mean if youre banging before you move in together surely youve discussed birth control and/or in case of an accidental pregnancy scenarios. lemongrass Its best to spend one Christmas with his family and the next with yours, right? One of my good friends goes to see her in-laws (or the come see her) every weekend, and they live about an hour away. Thatll probably shut them up. 15 signs he doesnt want to spend time with you 1) Hes always busy Granted, most people are busy these days. And the rest of my family in US get together almost every weekend as well. Before the pandemic we used to visit every few weeks and celebrate holidays together. It took both of us a while to cut that back to what it is now, first it moved to one set of parents each weekend so wed alternate, and then down to every couple weeks. Self-reflection should always come first when we want to repair relationships with others, especially important people. However, its also a convenient excuse for Actually, its not just the weekends; your husband wants to spend every moment with his parent and his family. Have you explained that to him? June 18, 2014, 11:03 am. But if that doesnt work, I think you need to accept it or move on unfortunately. Then, he needs to ask her, calmly and without accusation, why she prefers to spend her weekends with her Occasionally, this is fine with me and I understand Im not the only person Shes not being selfish or mean, shes simply asking for him to place more importance on her & their relationship. Youre lifestyles dont mesh and they probably never will. Its different than what youre used to, sure, and its maybe not something you would do yourself. June 18, 2014, 11:34 am. Saturday night is date night you are willing to sacrifice one date night a month to see his parents but thats it. If the situation is even more complicated, for example, if his parents are old or his siblings have problems, your husband will feel even more guilty for leaving them. January 20, 2012, 9:54 am. John Rohan It would be a waste to find someone you genuinely enjoy spending time with, only to lose the chance to be with them because of your lack of awareness or an inability But I dont automatically think that they have some huge communication problem because of this one issue. If you cant deal for the long haul, then dont. Like the other commenters have said, just communicate! You can be with his family every weekend and every holiday, but he can never be with yours. Its when a relationship switches from the wooing phase to the were together phase. Not only is it a long commute to my boyfriends familys place, but its also starting to get expensive paying for the commuter train both ways (we split expenses pretty evenly even though I make significantly less). If Bitter Gay Mark disagrees with me, Ill reconsider. You are certainly not happy when unannounced visitors visit you, and you have a lot of work to do. LW real advice. Why My Husband Thinks Taking Care of the Baby is Easy: 3 Reasons. It is soooooooo dangerous to do that. January 20, 2012, 10:03 am. its a really exciting time for your relationship! On another level, your husband wants to strike out on his own, by himself, on a grand adventure. ForeverYoung demoiselle It always strikes me as odd when people write letters before even trying to work it out on their own. . Ditto to the making plans paragraph. During football season we spend Saturdays and Sundays, all day, watching football with the same people. He values his family and wants to spend his free time with them (and you). to a point, but there are some things that there is no way around not having a conversation around. . They were dating, they were both happy, so I think they both assumed that thinks will be the same once they move in together. If you have something like, oh, I dont know, a skydiving excursion planned on, say, a Saturday afternoon that hes home, and maybe a float trip on Sunday morning before he leaves, that leaves just a small amount of time for him to see his parents enough for a short visit, but not so much that youre spending 80% of the weekend with them. They live in a suburb of New York, where we live, and weve somehow gotten into a routine of spending significant amounts of time at their house nearly every weekend. This is for your husband to do, but you have to let him know. Its sad that we put our heads in the sand, but who wants to really start over, by themselves, when your husband or wife of however many years has been cheating on you. Im also close to my family, however, I never make my boyfriend feel left out and I always make him feel that he is the priority.

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