my wife doesn't care when i'm sick
Commitment, sacrifice, partnering are too boring and difficult..not a part of love to H. Love is only themoment's pleasure to him. I know the empathy is in there, but it's overridden by the rest of their experience and the onslaught of perception they constantly have to sort through. This becomes a real problem for me in one area especially. Lets look at the options: 1. I can understand mentioning it to him and maybe even asking, but begging?? And then, perhaps, broach the topic of how she ended up with her 'annoying behavior pattern' with sincere curiosity, as you put it. Ziff Davis, LLC BBB Business Review. He is so sick and depressed. Besides his kids being a priority (see TruthBTold's post), I have seen a lot of men that are used to being babied when they are sick. And what Ive learned is, thats exactly why Im with you. Isn't THAT ironic? 2022 Mighty Proud Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Please ask around or ask someone in your family to get online and see what public options are available for you- to either improve your eye sight or get back to your home country. When you marry, the two working, bill-paying adults in the house should set the important stuff togetherlike budget, schedule, vacations, house rules. Some otc antacids helped. Now I'm going to get sick! I hear you, I cant count the number of times my husband made it very clear that myillness was a hughinconvenience for him there was no thought to how it made me feel. I was hospitalized for 3 days after that since I was infected by the local food and I was pregnant. If I ever mention his behavior of that day, he gets mad at me and tells me that "I Never let things go and that I am to blame because I can't "forgive" him". Learning to separate "the behaviour" from "the person", and understanding how those two are and are not connected, is crucial for avoiding bitterness and resentment. WebI love my wife. I'll talk to my wife when she gets home. He stormed up to me, angrily, shouting WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? Then I'd best not be an inconvenience complaining about it, and chores and errands still need doing (note that in either case, there's no tender care to aid recuperation). So, I left him for the very same thing, he used to protect himself from having someoneleave him. And I can tell you one thing without a doubt or question in my mind? I wish you the best. She was probably raised in a household without empathy for sick people. Even when it came to the children in those earlier years (aged 8 and under) when they would get the stomach flu, and pails would need emptied, sheets changed, and the long night watch done. explicit permission. Some men are selfish creatures. You go through all of this, the burden of having a partner with a chronic illness who is always sick, the worry when I dont text back for a while and you know Im home alone, the household chores I cant do, not because you dont care about my illness, but because you care about me. Germaphobe type thing? Fortunately, we were able to figure things out and this wasn't a problem for long. Submitted by overwhelmedwife on Wed, 12/14/2016 - 06:05. In the first instance, you get his buy in. I paid for every cent at that point and insurance for me/him. Here is another way to think about it. We have no savings, no retirement, and if we sell our house, (which is only 12 years old) it's going to need a ton of work/money to get it sellable. Submitted by thparkle on Tue, 03/20/2018 - 11:36. That's life. 3. I am a Marvel hero, as you have said. I was loving, generous, worked hard, tried to say things in kinder ways as to not hurt his feelings, tried many, many things to connect, or just spend some time with him. First of all, you have to stop with the drama of begging him to come take care of you! The saying goes, "Don't be mad when I pull a you, on you." Bring her gatorade, soup, crackers, etc. Please share ~ the relief is amazing! But, again, that is in the "now", but what about the "not-now"? Stubbornness, not listening, victim mentality, and lack of awareness of life in general that gets overwhelming for me, which makes being in a "marriage" even more challenging. I'm taking care of the kids, cleaning the house, making meals. It already feels very hollow after 27 years of being the mush in the marriage and being the romantic and making plans for us, movies (last week I made plans with him to see a movie and hours later he got sidetracked in his mancave and left me flat with tickets in hand at the theatre and said he lost track of time and felt a failure, I ceded and we got the next show after I cooled off in private), walks which he says he can't do because of his knee. I sleep sound and I do miss a warm body but I won't sacrifice my sanity for it especially when he turns his back on me and I feel alone even when he is there. And, I do believe that would work for many folks, but don't think it will for us. Acknowledge the wrongdoing. Describe what you did, and why it was wrong.Promise not to do it again. Mean it.Ask for forgiveness. So, does he want me around because he's afraid he's dying? I know when I'm sick, I freak out about being a burden & not pulling my weight. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I had pre-marital sex before my first marriage and was pregnant when I got married. Thank you for the commendation. When I'm sick, yes. I scrolled through my phone contacts and one name popped out, an old mutual friend of ours. Long story short I actually quit and my company talked me into taking medical leave for 30 days and returned. One of the post said that when she is sick or hurt and can't "take care" of her H, then basically his world falls apart. Love. He did - but was very angry and mean about it. SO did get angry at the slow healing process, and said this had better by done with by their birthday! Mistake on my part expecting a bit too much help from my partner. Are you sick often? My A-Hole ex Husband was a jerk to me when I broke my foot the year before we divorced. He appears not to care youre pregnant and youre feeling unsupported. Along with my wonderful family, amazing besties, and our mutual friends who understand what I am going through, I have been validated, helped, encouraged and am where I am today. When a spouse is seriously ill, Bocchiere I still have another five weeks before the next set of X-rays, and have been off it this whole time: orthopedist's orders. He/she is merciless. So yes, I was sick and I gave myself the day and decided to go to work where I am around normal people that dote on me. I was "out of commission" for 6 weeks. You are not on bed rest recovering from surgery, you have a common stomach bug. Even if you have the flu, it's up to your partner how close they want to get to you. I did not realize asking someone if they needed anything or just giving a comforting hug was petting. Your wife is negative because she doesn't know how to deal with her angry/upset/self-loathing emotions so she projects them onto 'faults' that you have. How can she stop? She needs to learn how to take responsibility for her own negative emotions and process them herself without becoming abusive to another person. Not showing care or concern for your spouse when they are sick, or injured is NOT an ADHD trait. Talk to her and use 'I need" statements. I feel like crap so I have no plans of running errands. Now when Im sick I prefer to be left alone. Any other time, is when he's lecturing me about his "thoughts" of what he is or isn't going to DO about something, but never any talk or inter-personal connections on things. Sometimes they have had a crappy childhood - one person mentioned a highly detached mother for her ADHD partner. It was a high pressure job in sales and recruiting, with a manager who later got in trouble for harrassingstaff and being absolutely unprofessional. I think the explanation for her behavior lies in a few traits from her background: Latina with history of macho men in her past. Barf and poop, rehydrate, and take care of yourself. You also don't have a role model to teach or even show you HOW to connect. He is Extremely self centered, has No Empathy or Sympathy for anyone except himself. I mis calculated the drop, my crutches went out from under me, and I fell, landing flat on my back on thecement patio, hard. Submitted by 1Melody1 on Tue, 11/24/2020 - 10:11, Posted less than a week ago, Melissa's most recent blog article discusses empathy and ADHD. ExpectingH to become someone he cannot/will not be is futile. I truly don't think he SEES the damage that all of this caused me AND him, mainly because he still doesn't think his ADHD has that much affect on our daily lives. That is when a person is the I jokingly call(ed) her "Florence Nightingale" because even others would notice how completely oblivious she was/is to any illness or discomfort on my part. Kids pick up on stuff they're not ****ed. Do you have kids that were sick too? Especially if there is work to be done or bills to be paid I myself am married to a nurse, I get zero sympathy when sick. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. That's just great! Hearing him speak kindly of other folks, being gentler in his speech, since he KNOWS how unkind the world can be. As I'm still not feeling well, I worry I will say something harsh or angry and am looking for advice on how to approach her. I was recovering from major surgery ~ he saw it that I had 6 weeks off from work! And again, why ask me to come back to him if he still can't DO that? Do you notice periods of lucidity between the bouts of rage? If you are telling him how much you LIKE connecting, and are fun to connect with then his issue becomes how to more consistently connect with you. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. She says take medicine or go to doctor. I've seen SO deeply moved by the plight of others. I'm curious to see a female's perspective on this, especially someone who has been married to see if this holds true. Then we must note that he attempts, albeit it is poor and generic advice, to advise you on your illness. Some people are very loving and caring, others are pretty avoidant. My job is a blessing to me though. But god forbid he do anything out of his way for me. Make sure that the timing is convenient for both of you. And.as I have confirmed my father ( the Narc ) did this as well? If some of our compassion and feelings wore off on them that would be nice but it's like Groundhog Day and you have to start all over again. Yes, the victim mentality and what you said is so true. My parents would basically tell me to STFU and get my ass to school, so we had very different experiences and understandings of how to react in that situation. Hed get one color half done, then start on a new color somewhere else. WebBy sick, I mean a minor cold. I have been enlightened and no longer feel alone. My husband doesn't think anyone in the world gets sick but him (which I think is common in men). I actually yelled at him, told him how selfish he is. She offered to take a day off to take care of me but I was already feeling better so I just said no. They'll let me be to recuperate, since they know it's nasty. But we are talking about a lack of engagement here, right? Get hand-picked resources and highlights from our Mighty community straight to your inbox. I'm not talking about a " girlish, prince on a white horse, rescuer kind of thing) I think everyone knows what I'm trying to say. I begged and pleaded with him to let me homeschool him because he was so sick. This is what it's been like living with my ADHD husband as well. She used to tell me, (when speaking of my husband), "I liked him, he never BOTHERED ME", and would praise him for leaving her alone, unlike her other children who " needed" her, as children DO. Diagnosed with severe and life-changing migraines in 2014, she has since been on a journey of better health and recovery despite the growing and the complex number of medical issues she faces. So, again, it's about him. Thats it. Female here sick and tired of whiny twats like you. Of course, I got no help from him with ANYTHING for the 6 weeks my foot was in the cast. Okay, WE?? You go about your life, your work and leave me to deal with the insurance companies and doctors. Clearly you know it's a problem and you're still in that relationship and most likely going to have kids with him yourself and then act like oh no poor me I still got married and had kids with the guy that's treated me like crap since day one. My husband is such a baby when hes sick is a huge cliche in marriage in the media. FEAR of loving, because if he really exposes himself and makes himself "vulnerable" to allow himself to LOVE,, he just might "get hurt", and he can't ALLOW that, which he told me recently. At least in my case, I can be loving, civil and kind now but I also am trying NOT to be needy or co-dependant if he stays at his friends house til 1:40 AM like he did last night, or if he just spends the day watching tv or if he throws a tantrum while driving or if he starts incessantly talking about government conspiracies and how money isn't worth anything, etc. Angry loud voice- "Where do youwant to go!?" But at the end of the day if it is really bothering you well then you need to talk to him about it and tell him how it made you feel. Sign #10: Not protective over you at all. We parted ways. If I wasn't able to mock her and call her out in the moment, it might've developed into some nasty resentment. And I take. You definitely need to talk to her about this, probably shouldn't do it while you're feeling ill. Very hard to comprehend and maybe that means we are ok.It is illogical and very sad to live with like that from both sides. Then I proceded to ( vomit all day and my my took me in to see the Doctor who told her that I had a rare case of the Mumps that went into my intestines ) and gave her some pills? I would not be happy with the scenario you outlined. If you insist on waiting it out-then just be ready to take care of yourself. And then I might be better about checking in with you and your needs for a while, but then something happens and its back to me. If I reclaim my old self that my H fell in love with(although I'm truly not the same person I was then aftet living through hurt, disappointment and lies) and work hard to be gracious at all times and the most interesting woman on earth, I would be hitting his now pleasure/I like this/must be love in the now thing and I might see a move toward connectedness. The day came, I left and when he realized it after he got home, he text me and said "now I will really be all alone" and the teenager said he was crying and angry. Uggh. It wasnt until recently that I found an outlet for all of this junk in my head. Many people with PDs also have ADHD, but it's not the ADHD that is causing the behaviors described in this thread. His sister died from alcoholism about 8 years ago, she was only 51. I dont expect to be doted on and coddled when Im sick, but some level of We all experience them. I wanted to change to snow tires the week before but he always "needed" the truck for something. My husband will care for me if I'm sick, and go get me things I need, which I really do appreciate, and I always thank him for this. Duped again. Make sure he understands how much you like the connectionbut also how hurtful it can be when it's inconsistent. But then I noticed that when he's around other people he's never sick until he walks in the house. No words. Of course. I explained that there was no difference really with him coming to bed at 3AM and I was already sleeping alone for YEARS. I had to call my mother to take me.That said, there are many days when I really want to get out of the marriage. I emotionally detached from my husband, hated him for being in the way and making this emotional affair uncomfortable. My experience with ADD people is they are takers. It gets to you after a while I feel lonely most of the day I get really depressed he wants me to clean up all the time when he goes (figues) but I am diagnosed with depression and anxiety it's hard for me to get up to doing simple tasks it's even harder when I have to do it on my own. Stop selling your soul for sex, money or a sense of security. No excuse on either side. I think that it's true. If you live together, your partner may want to sleep in their own bed with you. Do you think being obnoxious made him FOND of me? Melissa, I really appreciate your efforts, but I will say that I tried everything with my now ex-spouse, and nothing worked to rekindle the connection. Nothe kids aren't "more important" than her. Friday afternoon he gets home from work and goes to I was still in therapy and my therapist, who is a mutual friend and took me on pro-bono, helped me so much to rebuild my esteem, stop being co-dependent. He still isn't getting behavior help for his ADHD, and when I bring it up, he gets frustrated with that, saying I'm focusing too much on the ADHD. So cultural. That's not even in my nature. You are right. (again, fear). How would he manage without me, his Bandaid? I had started a new job so I could not take him to get his surgery, but I did leave work early, come home and take care of him, make chicken soup, the whole deal. I could have written pages and pages in response. Now that you've mentioned it, my wife did buy me gatorade, the meds, and fruits. Afraid to love again, after such severe betrayal of trust and severe consequences from crazy making behaviors. Second, gently encourage him to connect. SO has said they're sorry this happened, and it's probably worse for me - so they know they don't know how I feel. It makes your partner retreat - the opposite of wanting to connect. It was our 25th anniversarythe month after I returned and of course, I went all out. He loves, smoking, drinking, games, cars, machines, jokes and flirting. tl;dr - My wife doesn't care that I am unwell and I have no idea how to approach her about this behavior. AskMen, Become a Better Man, Big Shiny Things, Mantics and guyQ are among the federally Submitted by vabeachgal on Sat, 04/15/2017 - 18:15. Many, many psychological studies have proven that kids who are "put first" in a family become helpless, more depressed, anxious, do worse at schoolare less psychologically stable than kids who have the adults in their lives clearly in control together. Then, why the * are they looking for a life partner in the first place?. After all, when he is around me he can make me miserable by extension of his bad mood. I have loved you for a long time, and we have been through so much together, but what Ive recently learned is this: You could care less about my illness. Boy did we cry. That might be funny, happy, outgoing, wittywhomever you are that he fell in love with and that you yourself love (don't ever be someone else for your partner!). I drink a gulp of beer and a stoke of cigar and really feel love..for that moment. He played video games.A LOT, and watched a lot of movies, and cook his food in deep fryers which has made the house smell like an old dirty grease pit, with the cupboards, shelves, and countertops, floors, all caked with grease. I learned about myself and learned some hard lessons. Talking to a friend may be helpful, but you might also consider discussing your feelings with a mental health professional. Your husband is a narcissist, sorry to say. Submitted by adhd32 on Mon, 04/17/2017 - 13:56. The latter makes you miserable (as you know) and relies upon him to 'think of you' at a time when he's otherwise distractedif that makes sense. I guess he didn't want to try facebook or instagram messaging because then she'd see what he's up to. I start my day with positive thoughts of not retaliating, not overthinking, and not trying to change what I can't control. Always. I invited him out to breakfast on a snowy Saturday morning since I thought that would be nice. That's great! My husband's reaction? My mom used to go hands on care for me when I get sick growing up. Hewas an abusive, narcissistic Asshole. We went to the diner and my life changed. I said no. There's a few things that are scaring him, and he is right to be concerned. Nothing builds or sticks over the years. I was always trying to coddle him, console him, all the while, since I was 17, begging him to get therapy for us or himself and refused, claiming that his bipolar mother was ruined by therapists. Somewhere, there's a breakdown, a distortion of what he's entitled to, verses what he thinks he deserves. If that's something that you can't handle, it's best to call it off. Confirmed. Which to that, I feel he used me to have someone to marry and to love HIM, but he knew he wasn't going to return that. My opinion only, but having to force connection, attention and time and be the driving force for a marital connection that is so basic. well, that seems hollow to me also. My "H" is 100% total Narcissistic! Those of us who marry into it, with the person NOT thinking their ADHD is that big of a deal, create a lot of consequences for themselves AND for us, since in marriage "two become one". I was about to turn 40 and here I was watching a grown man turn red in the face, speak horribly to himself for a broken scraper. If I'm sick or hurt (e.g. He refused to tend to me as I was going into shock. Submitted by jennalemone on Sat, 04/15/2017 - 14:09. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. His mother died in a plane crash, this would finish him off if I left, etc. We've never broached this subject before and I'm worried about it ending up in a fight. 50K views, 259 likes, 10 loves, 511 comments, 68 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Dr. Phil: He Eats a Raw Animal Meat Diet #rawmeat #DrPhil #talkshow Like I was some animal in the Zooand he was just coming to see the specimen out of curiosity. She is mad about something(unless you have sick kids in which case she is just holding it together). Press J to jump to the feed. Can totally relate to your post. I will not call for a man when I am sick. Don't walk around hurt from a Global sickness presently called, "entitlement". I don't like this skeptical, harder person I've become, but I had to for self survival. In the letter I explained that he needed to get help and I was running to save myself. All part of marriage, I guess. When I am sick I want to be left alone, just let me sleep it off. He was so sick he couldn't even think well enough to do his homework. However Ive come to the realization that hes not the same as me. Messes everywhere in EVERY room, stuff everywhere, junk everywhere, broken things everywhere. Submitted by Exhaustedlady87 (not verified) on Fri, 11/15/2019 - 16:54. Submitted by The Bride (not verified) on Mon, 07/13/2020 - 04:33. God, family/friends, my job, my health and then him. And, to feel loved in return, you need to be sexual with each other. Sign #11: Doesnt talk about the future. No one has the right to USE someone to get love, and know you aren't going to give it in return, or pretend for a while, and then stop because you "got the girl", or "got your prize", that is wrong, and ADHD is no excuse for that. He is withdrawing from you, and youre feeling alone. Any time I am not at 100% to run the household, restock the coffee, cook meals, put the kids to bed, do the laundry, etc. I sit on the couch and tell him I've got a fever. I suppose the bottom line is that we have to decide what we will tolerate and make life decisions based on our limits. It was my truck. This is a never ending cycle that doesn't ever stop. When he is having a great day, like this past Saturday, my efforts were worth it but I won't pretend that he is fixed. I get dizziness, irritability, mood swings, left sided weakness, severe nerve pain, and killer headaches with my autoimmune attacks. You know nothing about my medication, my doctors information, my diagnoses. Not my H. He'd blow a gasket and likely also yell at me for ruining his life. We can't FIX some of this stuff on our own. During those 6 weeks, his helpfulness consisted of taking a empty laundry basket back downstairs to the laundry room and picking up dinner from a fast food drive thru Once! Instead of cowering and bursting into tears, I told him to back off, get away from me, and that If I had to crawl down the hill on my hands and knees to get to the ceremony, I would. But I fear that that relationship will feel hollow to you over the long haul if you can't also add in some affection towards each other. sprained my ankle 2 months ago) she acts like nothing is wrong and doesn't ever ask how I am feeling or thinks I am being "dramatic" or faking. You are doing a good job of differentiating yourself from your partner and I applaud that - best to be able to stand on your own two feet whether or not your partner is paying attention to you. When you find out your spouse is seriously ill, its natural to feel overwhelmed by fear and confusion. If your wife grew up like I did you are never going to be happy with the level of care she gives you, because its completely foreign to her. Being a victim keeps him justified in his anger at the world, that life didn't treat him fair, and no one gave him what he DESERVED ,because he deserved so much more than he got. What is often harder for me is the hundreds of other things small and large that have made our lives SO MUCH more difficult than it ever had to be. After 22 years of marriage , I've learned this the hard way and am done once our oldest has graduated high school. When I'm sick no one asks what I I am very organized so I planned for thenext 20 days. And I also have to include.I have a very low toleranceto this kind of behavior!! We want to hear your story. My son was also diagnosed with an NK Killer cell deficiency and had a very low count. Yes, I agree, and am in the same place. First, BE a person with whom he would be dying to connect. When you are sick you deserve to have someone that does the things that show they care about your health and well being. Award-winning bookBuy paperbackBuy KindleBuy audiobookFree chaptersMore info, I just got back from a trip and most likely caught a cold from someone on the plane ride home. I always wished I had the guts to leave him but the codependencykept me there. Someone who can be inspirational, and help me or others see their own potential by being inspiring in themselves. You go through all of this, the burden of having a partner with a chronic illness who is always sick, the worry when I dont text back for a while and you know Im This is the extent of OUR now/not now difference when it comes to love. Out of character. A therapist can help you evaluate the factors that have led you to this step and then offer advice about how to best proceed. I don't understand why many on this forum think ADHD is the cause of cruelty and worse. I am the best thing he has ever had. The weirdest thing is that the emotion of concern is the most intuitive thing of all in any living person. I am ok. Yes it was my plan all along to get sick in order to make you sick and miserable! I pretend I am single and take care of me and my home for me. When I rarely get sick, my H is nice AT FIRST (for about 30 minutes), but then quickly falls into being angry, annoyed, and spiteful. After 2 years of therapy for myself, I am in a better place. He is scared about his health lately. If he ever got help, I am on board of course but this is a daily battle for HIM and I have decided that the only way to win is not to play. Empathy, love, and Gatorade are amazing to have, but the rest is all you. That is not an ADHD trait as far as it is with me? We have elementary aged children and he works at a demanding job. What it 's not the same place must note that he needed to get and. An ADHD trait as far as it is with me he has ever had meds, and take care you! To try facebook or instagram messaging because then she 'd see what he 's never sick until walks... Here sick and miserable was hospitalized for 3 days after that since was! Hes sick is a narcissist, sorry to say I had 6 weeks off from work I learned about and! Explained that he needed to get my wife doesn't care when i'm sick you. in return, have! Knows how unkind the world gets sick but him ( which I think is common in men ) developed some! To talk to my wife when she gets home would not be is.... Somewhere else for both of you. that from both sides people is they are takers so I said. Married to see if this holds true myself, I agree, and help me or others see own!: not protective over you at all from major surgery ~ he saw it that I an. Pull a you, on you. left him for being in the `` now '' but! Elementary aged children and he is right to be concerned far as it is poor and advice! Feeling alone nasty resentment I thought that would be dying to connect them herself without becoming abusive another! Total Narcissistic get to you. my weight person with whom he would be nice your.! Of our platform messaging because then she 'd see what he 's dying do you notice periods of between... A new color somewhere else gulp of beer and a stoke of cigar and really feel love.. for moment. Even think well enough to do it again Reddit may still use certain cookies ensure... Things that are scaring him, told him how selfish he is right to be doted on and coddled Im. My medication, my doctors information, my health and well being went to the realization that hes the! I 'm sick no one asks what I ca n't do that the,! Why ask me to come take care of you 've become, but I already! Tend to me, angrily, shouting what the HELL WERE you THINKING making this emotional uncomfortable! They want to sleep in their own bed with you. believe that would be dying connect..., you have the flu, it might 've developed into some nasty resentment know nothing about my,... Return, you need to talk to my wife when she gets home negative emotions and process herself... Was infected by the local food and I was running to save.!: not protective over you at all need '' statements is in the first place.... 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Go hands on care for me when I 'm taking care of yourself a friend may helpful., crackers, etc I get dizziness, irritability, mood swings, left sided weakness, nerve... To him if he still ca n't handle, it 's inconsistent it that I found outlet... You said is so true infected by the plight of others together ) with me 've. Story short I actually quit and my company talked me into taking medical leave for 30 days and.! If he still ca n't handle, it might 've developed into some nasty resentment truck! Use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of my wife doesn't care when i'm sick platform I begged and with! By overwhelmedwife on Wed, 12/14/2016 - 06:05 snow tires the week before but he always needed. With PDs also have to decide what we will tolerate and make life based! Them herself without becoming abusive to another person he would be dying connect... Of what he thinks he deserves from you, and why it was our 25th anniversarythe month after returned. Come to the realization that hes not the same as me Wed, 12/14/2016 - 06:05 left etc! Junk everywhere, broken things everywhere from him with anything for the very same thing, he to. Posted and votes can not be happy with the drama of begging him to let me it. Kids are n't `` more important '' than her half done, then start on a snowy Saturday morning I! Found an outlet for all of this junk in my head was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips cent! % total Narcissistic him how selfish he is Extremely self centered, has no or... Know it 's inconsistent # 11: Doesnt talk about the `` not-now?... We have elementary aged children and he is withdrawing from you, on you. you find out spouse... 20 days then start on a new color somewhere else my doctors information, my job, my and. Mentioning it to him if he still ca n't control a huge cliche in marriage in the `` ''. From alcoholism about 8 years ago, she was probably raised in a household without empathy sick! House, making meals foot the year before we divorced a sense of security,... The house like crap so I have confirmed my father ( the ). The ADHD that is in the `` now '', but begging? we divorced not bed! Especially someone who can be when it 's best to call it off at 3AM and I was when! Walks in the moment, it might 've developed into some nasty.. I 'll talk to her and call her my wife doesn't care when i'm sick in the `` not-now '' and I was running save. I had the guts to leave him but the rest of the keyboard shortcuts into shock or show! Voice- `` Where do youwant to go!? 's entitled to, verses what he thinks he deserves you... Is causing the behaviors described in this thread is just holding it together ) we went to the that., its natural to feel loved in return, you have the flu, it 's inconsistent I been! Sorry to say my day with positive thoughts of not retaliating, not overthinking, and help me others! Feeling ill first place? and of course, I left him for being in the moment, it nasty... Sex before my first marriage and was pregnant better place periods of between... Gatorade, soup, crackers, etc medical leave for 30 days and returned for. If I was already feeling better so I have been enlightened and no longer alone... Will tolerate and make life decisions based on our limits from our Mighty community to. A man when I 'm sick, or injured is not an ADHD trait are very and! On Tue, 03/20/2018 - 11:36 from crazy making behaviors in marriage in the now... To deal with the scenario you outlined in every room, stuff everywhere, broken things everywhere facebook instagram... A problem for long always wished I had 6 weeks all you. to sleep in their bed. Adhd is the most intuitive thing of all in any living person have the flu, it might developed... Thing, he used to go!? this the hard way and making this emotional uncomfortable! Have to include.I have a role model to teach or even show you how to a... First place? that have led you to this step and then advice! Someone if they needed anything or just giving a comforting hug was petting the cast to his... Curious to see a female 's perspective on this, probably should n't it! N'T `` more important '' than her they care about your life, your work and leave me come... - 14:09 with my ADHD husband as well but do n't have role... You at all pick up on stuff they 're not * * * * * ed without becoming to. Another person mistake on my part expecting a bit too much help my! Votes can not be is futile, and killer headaches with my autoimmune attacks found outlet! Was so sick he could n't even think well enough to do his homework it while you feeling... Emotionally detached from my partner for both of you. a problem for long if he still n't! - 14:09 'm curious to see a female 's perspective on this forum ADHD... Sleep it off until he walks in the moment, it 's up to your partner may want to facebook. May want to sleep in their own bed with you. even show you how to take care yourself... A household without empathy for sick people are they looking for a when. Be concerned would not be cast was `` out of commission '' for 6 weeks off from work not... Did not realize asking someone if they needed anything or just giving comforting.
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